Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Importance of Spending Time with our Children

Family : The Importance of Spending Time with our Children

 My daughter and me when we were in Bangkok two years ago. 

     My only child is now 22 years old and she just started to work in an ad agency. But it seems like it's not too long ago that she was just the baby that I cuddled in my arms and the little kid who played with her Dad. Although, I admit that when she was growing up, I wasn't always there for her and I left her to the care of her 'yaya' during the day. Well, she turned out quite well and I am really proud of her.

   The photo above  is of my step-daughter, Michele, and her family. 
The one below is of her and her eldest, Nickie, in Laiya, San Juan, Batangas.   


     There have been many set rules in parenting and one thing that every one agrees with is that you need to spend time with your children. I believe that in any relationship, even with our husband, we need to spend time together--to get to know one another, to know each other's likes and dislikes or personalities, to be able to know one another's needs and to take care of them, to be able to cry with one another in times of struggles and pain. If we need to do this with our husbands or boyfriends, how much more with our kids?
     However, many parents have been far too busy making money for their children's future that they tend to miss out on the more important things in their kids' life--the feeling of being loved, a sense of security that somebody cares for them and takes care of them, a sense of belongingness, the formation of character which is mostly from the training they get from their parent's life, the assurance that they are not alone and that they can open up to someone they can truly trust. If they do not get these from their own family, they turn to somebody else and may eventually lead to behavioral issues in the future. 
     I feel for the kids whose parents are divorced or separated because one parent is not always with them all the time. Sometimes, a parent will spend the so-called "quality time" with their kids out of guilt because they have not been with them for quite some time. To them, "quality time" means bringing them to Disneyland or doing certain activities with them. In the web page ( http://www. parenting-child-development.com/parenting-tips.html) titled "Giving Your Children the Gift of Time" by Laura Ramirez, the author pointed out that "quantity" time matters as much, if not more, than "quality" time because parents need to be a witness to their children's lives. That means creating good times, but more importantly, it means being there when things are tough and being part of his child's everyday struggles. Ms. Ramirez further recommends that parents should be accessible even when they're busy-- give your interests and attention, asking kids to help you with chores is doing things together, connect, converse with your children. She added that time spent spontaneously and given freely is a great healer of relationships. 

 My husband and me with our youngest 'apo' (grandchild), Monique
     
      How great a responsibility is parenting. Everything that a parent does for his/her kids is not for himself/herself but for the child. I know we all are not perfect as parents because sometimes we make mistakes, but who is a perfect parent? No one. But because you try your very best to be the good parent your child needs you to be, his future becomes secure and he will do for his children what you have done for him. It is the cycle of life.  

2 comments:

*josie* said...

And it is the pride of the parents when the children grew up to be a good and responsible adults.

Dhemz said...

pretty well said te....honestly, I did not grow up with my parents..I grew up with my grandparents...busy kasi parati sila mama't papa....pero I understand the whole situation naman...glad I turned out to be a good kid...ehhehe....minsan good....lol!

wow artistahin pala tong lahi nyo te....ehhehe,...thanks for sharing the pics....:)

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